Zombie Boy

Love, that inexplicable emotion – thanks to capitalistic design – is now available in a made-to-order holiday called Valentine’s Day! There was certainly nothing romantic about the persecution and subsequent murder and martyrdom of the original Roman priest Valentine for whom the day is named for. Crafty merchants have homogenized, collated, and packaged the idea of romantic love into bite-sized chocolates, candy with words printed on them, miniature roses by the dozen, and, of course greeting cards, the Valentinian motherlode! The dignity and reverence of the original reason for the season has been co-opted by companies with purse-strings, not heart-strings. And in our culture of consumption, isn’t that really more important?

Am I cynical? Hardly! I bought me a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups shaped like hearts. I’m doing just fine, thank you. 

This gag is based verbatim on an actual conversation. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.